Belief in Being Broken
by tt22123
Summary: Harry comes to his adoptive father, Snape, questioning sexuality and believing in the abuse of the Dursleys from all those years. TW Mentions of abuse. Severitus. Asexual. I do not own any of the characters, only the silly little bunny that ran away with my plot.


"Sir, I have a question."

"Very well but what did I say to you about calling me that, Harry?"

"Of course, sorry Severus."

"What is your question then child?"

"Can- can I- can I get a hug? Before I ask, before you find out and- and think me a freak."

"You may always have a hug when you want one, but I will never think you a 'freak', you know that." Harry shifted nearer to the other on the sofa and tucked himself under the man's raised arm and buried his face sideways into the firm chest. He took a shaky breath as a hand began to brush through his hair in a soothing manner, comforting the teen beyond words.

"I know that you're not… I know that you're not my real dad and that you don't like it when I use that word to call you but I have come to think of you that way."

"Get on with it Harry."

"I know all the theory behind it and everything, and I have heard all the talks before so I'm not asking you to tell me about the birds and the bees." The teenager took a shuddering breath and hide himself further into the man so that he couldn't be seen.

"What's wrong, has someone tried something Harry? Did someone do something to you?" Snape asked worriedly as he lifted the boy's chin until he was looking at the man, tears running down his cheeks that he wanted to hide.

"No, no one has tried anything."

"Is it because no one has tried anything then and you want someone to make a move?"

"I think I'm broken," Harry whispered before moving back slightly so that the hands dropped and he curled into a ball at the other end of the sofa.

"Why would you think that?"

"I've… I've never, you know."

"Got an erection?" he asked bringing a slight flush to both of their faces.

"No, I've had them, you can't help it given… stimulation. Everyone in my year, and even some of the lower years, they talk about how they find someone so attractive and talk about how they want to, I don't know, sleep with them. I've never felt that way about anyone. I've never seen anyone and suddenly been overcome with the urge to sleep with them."

"Harry…" Snape started but was soon interrupted by the boy.

"NO! I'm 18, I've defeated a madman and I've grown up with… abusers. I took down an ancient basilisk when I was 12 and a troll when I was 11. There are fifth years having sex with each other and yet I can't look at someone and feel attracted to them. You can't tell me that doesn't make me a Freak. My family were always right, I don't know why you ever thought I deserved better and I don't know how you ever made me think that there may be some part of me that isn't a FREAK that deserved anything and everything that they could do to me!" Harry hadn't realised that he had stood up during his speech until he finished and was on his knees in the middle of the floor.

"Before we deal with the more pressing matter of this conversation, I have something to say to you. I am so proud, I know that you don't like to talk about things with me but you have come to me about this, and you willingly referred to their treatment of you as abuse, something that you have NEVER done before now."

"I don't like being a burden," he whispered.

"You never could be, not to me."

"But you don't want to be my father."

"No, I am more than willing to be any sort of father figure that you desire. I didn't want you to think that I was just doing this to try and erase James from your life because I didn't like him. More than that, with the way he treated me, I didn't want you to relate me to him, make me like him in any way."

"That was before I told you about how freakish I am, right?" Snape moved to sit next to the other on the floor and pulled the teen into his lap.

"You, my child, will never be freakish to me and I will never go back on my offer of adopting you, not even if you dyed my hair pink and purple."

"But I don't…"

"Who cares?"

"But I'm…"

"Who cares? I don't. The word you're looking for, by the way, is asexual, not broken or freak or anything else like that."

"Asexual?"

"Let's move onto the sofa and get comfy for the birds and the bees chat, the proper, in-depth chat." Harry sniffled and nodded before moving and helping the other up of the floor, waiting for the other to give him permission to sit as he regressed back to his behaviours displayed when Snape had first rescued him from the Dursley's before his sixth year.

"Come here, sit down next to me." Harry instantly ducked his body back into the other's form and Snape didn't hesitate to wrap him back into a secure hug. "So, you know heterosexual, and homosexual?"

"Yes sir."

"Harry," he warned.

"Sorry. I know both of them… Severus."

"You can say 'dad' or any variation of the word if you would like. You know both of them but there are a whole variety of other sexualities. Do you know any others before the chat becomes redundant information?" 

"Gay, straight, lesbian."

"Very well. There are others but the main one that is needing explaining to you now is asexual. Don't think bad on yourself, a lot of people who fit this explanation assume themselves to be broken when they are growing up until they learn this word for themselves. It is used to explain a person who feels no attraction to members of the other gender. Demi sexual falls under this term because they can only feel physical attraction to a person once they have formed a strong emotional bond with them. Grey sexual people feel sexual attraction to others but only on a very rare occasion so they can also be classed as asexual or as a sexual person."

"But what about relationships?"

"That's the beauty of it. Your sexuality bares no impact on the romantic orientation you claim. A person could be bi-romantic but heterosexual because they would be in a relationship with either gender but you will only have sexual relations with a person of the opposite sex. You could be hetero-romantic and asexual if you want to have a relationship with a woman but none of the intimacy that goes into the bedroom in that way. You will be in charge of letting them know about how far you are willing to go with that person, if you are okay with holding hands or hugging or sleeping in the same bed, or none of it. Only you can know what you are okay with." 

"How do you know about all this?"

"Because once upon a time, I had a student who didn't hate me as much as most of my students do and he came to me with the same confession and requested that I 'fix' him. About a week later, after some research, he came to me about the situation and revealed that he had figured it all out and discussed with me his findings. I suggest you talk to him if you want some more information on the matter though, I believe that you know each other. In fact, I believe he helped you smuggle a dragon out of the school at his brother's request."

"Really?"

"Yes. I'm sure he won't mind me sharing this with you if it were to help another lost student. Plus, I think that he would realise that there is nothing that I would keep from you so that I can keep my son happy and safe."

"Thanks… dad."

"My pleasure Harry. So, you are NOT broken, got it?"

"Yeah, got it," he stated before curling up more onto the sofa so that his head rested on the man's lap, yawning widely.

"Go to sleep child. I'll put you in your room down here if I need to move."

"Okay dad. Love you."

"Love you too."

"It's because of Draco, by the way, that I asked…" Harry trailed off as he drifted off to sleep, leaving the man's brows raised at the comment.


End file.
